How do I find the time to write?

It’s easy: you steal time from your kids, your spouse, your pets and yourself. You can also neglect your chores, your work, your health and your friends.

See where I’m going with this?

If you’re a caretaker or breadwinner this is maddening. People tend to believe others are first and we are second. Women are raised to be caretakers and sacrifice ambition for the comfort of others. Men are raised to be breadwinners and set aside creative pursuits in the name of family. (I hate to be sexist about anything but you know it’s true.)

There’s also the very Now problem of a geeky dedication to various media and connectivity sharing. No one anywhere has ever had as much access to books, movies, games, and music as we do now. We can share everything, everywhere, anytime and this can steal all of our Creative Making Stuff time.

You have to cut out some of the intake to have output.

Not all of it, just some of it.

Over the past years I’ve become very good at cutting things out of my life so I can write instead. This is a luxury that comes with age, a grown child, and being married to someone who pays the bills. (Not that I can’t do that myself.) It has also happened because of my delicate health and the fact that I’m running out of options.

Stealing time is an art form when you do it right. Getting there is like going on a diet or adding exercise to your daily routine. It’s a matter of making it a priority. Failing, and trying again till you find what’s right for you. Just this past week I gave up online gaming because I looked back over 2015 and noticed  I could have written an entire novel in the time I spent gaming.

My formula involves learning to put myself first then assigning special time for the people closest to me so they don’t feel shut out or unappreciated.

Chores are done according to a ranking system. One room every Saturday, laundry when I feel like it, (I enjoy laundry) the basic kitchen stuff everyday, morning pet chores, evening pet chores, (I love my cats) and errands/shopping once a week. (My husband does half the chores by the way.) I also walk for 30 minutes minimum every night.

I don’t know what I’d do if I still had a young child at home. Seriously, anyone who can write while having a child/baby gets a medal from me.

As to managing marriage: it’s taken us a long time but we finally figured out that ‘roommate stuff’ gets discussed for no longer than one hour every Saturday and ‘financial stuff’ once a week on Sunday. We discuss nothing serious/important before coffee or after dinner. Your results may vary.

Then I pick a few things to fill my geek card and give that time some parameters.

Creative Output must = or > Media Intake.

It’s not easy at first and took decades to learn but now it’s second nature.